Key events
67 min “If it’s any consolation, those of us are watching on a split screen can confirm that the Denmark the Serbia game is equally duff, incoherent and unconsummated,” writes Charles Antaki. “So two mid-table games from four mid-table international sides. Sounds about right.”
It resembles England’s World Cup group in 2010 doesn’t it: 1-1, 0-1, a disgusting 2-2, 0-0, 0-1 and 1-0.
66 min Sesko has been eerily quiet, which makes you wonder a) how fit he is and b) in which minute he’s going to roof a violent 30-yarder.
65 min Bellingham leaves a bit on Janza, who takes the opportunity to go down about as convincingly as Gulbadin Naib last night. You can’t blame him: Slovenia are 25 minutes away from making history.
64 min “This situation is crying out for a game changer like Jos Buttler or Adil Rashid to be brought on,” says Simon McMahon. “Why can’t Southgate see that?”
Adil Rashid: now there’s a man who knows how to have fun at work.
63 min A rare Slovenia attack ends when Gnezda Cerin slices miles wide from distance.
62 min “In lieu of anything more interesting happening, let’s go back to the vowel ‘fun’,” says Matt Dony. “There is, of course, a difference between a vowel sound, and a letter being classified as a vowel. And, in English, a Y is a consonant. Other languages vary. In Welsh, for instance, a Y is a vowel. Along with W. So an English reader might look at a phrase such as ‘Nid yw’r bencampwriaeth hon mor ddifyr â 2016’ and think there’s not enough vowels. But there are plenty.”
What about that Adam Wharton though!
60 min Foden lines up one of his long-range heatseekers but is tackled just as he pulls his foot back.
59 min “Note to self,” says Richard Slassor. “Don’t speed read the MBM while watching the match and then wonder why Mainoo resembles Carol Vorderman.”
58 min Foden’s outswinging corner is met by Stones, whose header is cleared off the line by Sesko. He also blocks Bellingham’s follow-up, and then Saka is penalised for booting the side of Sporar’s face while trying an overhead kick.
57 min Foden’s excellent free-kick is taken off Kane’s head by Bijol. For the first time tonight, it feels like an England goal is in the post.
56 min Look, it’s not award-winning stuff but England have been better – and, crucially, quicker – since half-time. Mainoo, the catalyst for that improvement, is flattened 30 yards from goal by Drkusic. His stiff arm went into Mainoo’s neck and he’s lucky to avoid a yellow card.
54 min An outrageous long pass from Kane almost releases Bellingham, who can’t quite control the ball on the half-volley. Had he done so he’d have been through on goal, though it was a very difficult ball to take.
53 min A fine crossfield pass from Kane finds Walker in space on the right side of the box. He tries to cushion a volley back across goal and gets it all wrong.
52 min It’s still goalless between Denmark and Serbia, so as things stand England are top of Group C and heading for the easy half of the draw.
51 min “England are so stodgy,” says Jeremy Smith. “Remembering that it’s meant to be fun would be a start.”
That’s a great point – they look so uptight, even joyless. I wonder how much of that is down to the all the criticism they’ve received.
50 min This is better from England. Mainoo’s one-touch pass frees Bellingham, whose ambitious through pass to Kane is crucially cut out in the area.
48 min Mainoo, who has a slight resemblance to Carlos Valderrama in the way he lends people the ball, has already had loads of touches. He threads a nice pass into Bellingham, who wins a corner for England.
47 min “At the risk of bucking the trend, I’m an England fan who is quite enjoying this game,” says Nick Parish. “Having said that, I’m watching it poolside in Costa Rica with a cold beer, and an article from John Curtice on the forthcoming election to read at halftime. Apologies to all those without such consolations.”
It’s Steak Club at Wetherspoons tonight, so…
46 min Peep peep! Slovenia begin the second half. They are 45 minutes away from reaching the knockout stage of a major tournament for the first time.
Half-time substitution
Kobbie Mainoo on, Conor Gallagher off.
“Bellingham is dreadful for England (not interested in what he has done for Real, it’s a different game here),” says Andrew Hurley. “He is a huge part of England’s problem – why not have a meritocracy, play Foden where he should be playing, and play (a novel concept, hold on to your horses)… a left winger on the left wing ? Or a left back left back? Or a defensive midfielder in the defensive midfield position ? Everyone in Ireland is so amused by the fantasy football mentality that surrounds the English football team. You literally couldn’t make up all of the nonsense around this team – but it’s very, very amusing.”
That’s a bit harsh, no? In the games I’ve seen, Bellingham was great for England until about 5pm last Thursday. Agree totally on the Fantasy Football mentality though; that’s become a bigger problem for Gareth Southgate with each passing tournament. But then when he picks Conor Gallagher, who is an Anti-Fantasy Footballer, the incorrectly spelt hashtags are out before kick off.
The ITV panel’s verdict
-
Ange Postecoglou “The passing is way too slow”
-
Roy Keane “They need to be braver. Be brave enough to lose the ball.”
-
Gary Neville “It’s a collection of single passes. We look really basic and it’s sad because we’re better than that.”
“Re Southgate’s comments on Gallagher,” begins Mark Gillespie. “Is there anything more English football than picking a player because he can run and win second balls, over players like Wharton and especially Mainoo who mean you far more often keep the first ball.
“In addition, the change that has been made has already been tried in both of the previous games, and didn’t make any significant improvement. It’s like Southgate used up all his risk changes in the players he left out of the squad, but doesn’t trust any of the players he then brought in.”
While I can see the logic of picking Gallagher, his selection tonight felt like a statement that England aren’t panicking.
Half time: England 0-0 Slovenia
Gary Lineker said England were “sh!t” against Denmark. Tonight they are doing their best to put the log in Cologne. The first-half performance was uncomfortably similar to the Denmark game, only minus the early goal. Don’t know what else to say really, except that Argentina lost to Saudi Arabia and won the World Cup. But right here, right now, England are nowhere near.
45+1 min Don’t take this the wrong way, because he’s an astonishing footballer who makes me feel like I’ve finally seen Duncan Edwards play, but Bellingham has been dreadful.
45 min The reason there have been so many emails in this half is that there has been very little to write about on the field. England haven’t been crap as such, they’ve just kind of… existed.
44 min “I find it strange that Southgate discarded so many core players of his tenure for his last hurrah,” says Max Williams. “Apparently 13 of this squad are tournament debutants, which must impact the cohesion and general vibes, for want of a better word. We can debate the relative merits of Grealish, Rashford, Sterling, Dier, even Henderson but all are Southgate’s players and he seems lost without them. The fact he doesn’t appear to trust their replacements makes me wonder why he didn’t just go down fighting with the old guard.”
Yeah this is a fascinating psychological point, with a few possible explanations. Was he unconsciously responding to all those hashtags and accusations of excessive loyalty? Is he demob happy? Is he Keyser Soze?
42 min “This is a problem for a 24 team tournament,” says Gary Naylor. “England are pulling Slovenia down to their level.”
40 min Trippier, 25 yards out in the inside-left channel, whips a wicked inswinging cross that somehow evades both Gallagher and Kane at the far post. Gallagher missed his header and Kane just couldn’t react it on the stretch. Had he done so he’d almost certainly have scored.
40 min That cross from Karnicnik (36 min) actually hit Guehi on the chest as he leant in front of Sporar. There were a few polite enquiries for handball but it was all fine.
Sporar has been more dangerous that Sesko so far.
39 min “I agree that Foden has been the sharpest England player, but I think he’s maybe too sharp, his teammates are always a step behind him,” says Kári Tulinius. “I think the charge that he’s a system player only is unfair, but he’s a team player, creating with others rather than on his own.”
As things stand England are top of the group, but a goal for Slovenia or Denmark would change that.
38 min Now Slovenia are having a good spell. This is all a bit World Cup 2010, and if England aren’t careful it will also end with a thumping by Germany in the last 16.
36 min Slovenia’s most dangerous attack to date. Gorenc Stojanovic plays in the overlapping Karnicnik, who gets to the byline in the area and hammers a cross that doesn’t get past the crowd at the near post. That could have gone anywhere.
36 min “The attack might not have much verve, but the bench looks to have plenty.”
It took me about 30 seconds to realise you were talking about their football ability. At first I thought you were suggesting half of them had Richard Ashcroft haircuts.
35 min Foden’s free-kick is excellently struck, but Oblak dances across his line to make an awkward save look pretty straightforward.
Foden’s been England’s best attacker so far, which is one in the solar plexus for those of us who would have played Anthony Gordon. Who can we drop next? Bellingham?
34 min England are slowly taking control. Saka is fouled 25 yards from goal by Bijol, wiuth the free-kick in a shooting position. Kane and Foden are over it…
33 min “Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “If England produce another stinker, at least it’ll be in Cologne.”
Way-hay! I’m sad I ordered Millings to put his phone away as he’s have enjoyed that.
32 min Gallagher’s loose pass goes straight to Sporar, who runs at the defence and hits a shot from about 25 yards. It deflects off Stones and spins through to Pickford.
32 min “England are playing like Arsenal did this season before the winter break – sluggish, devoid of ideas, vaguely bunging it in Saka’s direction in the hope he can create something out of nothing,” says Tom Atkins. “Can they all go to Dubai for a week or so for a holiday? They could pick up Ben White on the way back.”
31 min Rice again wins the ball in the final third and gives the ball to Kane, who tries a wobbler from 25 yards. It’s too close to Oblak, who saves comfortably.
30 min Kane’s shot on the turn is blocked, then Foden’s lovely cross is turned behind for a corner.
29 min Slovenia break dangerously, three on three, but Elsnik’s through pass to Sesko’s is slightly heavy and Pickford comes to the edge of his area to claim.
Just before that Rice won the ball high up the field with a cracking sliding tackle on Gorenc Stojanovic; that seems to have energised England’s players and supporters because the tempo has gone up.
28 min Foden has been pretty sharp tonight actually, probably the most progressive of the England attackers. Kane and Bellingham have been disquietingly quiet.
26 min The key stats so far.
25 min “They’re not the only – or even the worst – offenders, but how often does an unambitious England pass arrive directly at the feet of a player who is standing still,” says Paul Cockburn. “No movement, utterly predictable, and usually slow enough that the defence has adjusted before the receiving player takes a step.”
24 min When the books come out in a few years’ time, it wouldn’t surprise me if we find out that Kane and/or Bellingham and/or half the team aren’t fully fit. With the partial exception of Saka, the attack has no verve.
23 min “I know it’s 15 minutes in but it’s all very end of season friendly rather than a Euros game,” says Graham Randall. “Just frustrating to watch.”
They’re really missing Raheem Sterling’s speed, movement and directness.
22 min Janza is booked for a rugby tackle on Saka. He’ll miss the last 16 game if Slovenia go through.
20 min: Saka has a goal disallowed for offside! A shame as it would have been a gem of a goal. Trippier forced the ball infield to Rice, whose terrific first-time pass released Foden on the left side of the area. He crossed to give Saka the goal – and then the flag went up.
It was against Foden, not Saka, and replays confirm it was a straightforward decision.
19 min Sporar spins the ball up, 20 yards out, and mishits a volley that is going well wide until Pickford keeps it in play. England aren’t yet at the races.
18 min Janza’s wicked inswinging free-kick from the right beats everyone and bounces a few yards wide. Beautiful left foot, that lad.
17 min Trippier is booked for a lunge at Karnicnik.
16 min Janza, who has a lovely left foot, booms a cross from the left that tempts Pickford from his line. He doesn’t get there but, thankfully for England, nor does Andraz Sporar. He wasn’t far away thogh.
16 min So far, so meh. In England’s defence, it’s really hot. Don’t tell Roy Keane though, not after all the chat about the pitch in the last game.
14 min Saka is stretching the pitch on the right, whereas Foden is wandering where the mood takes him. Admirable as Kieran Trippier is, It would make such a difference if England had a left-footed left-back.
13 min “Apropos of Mr. Preston’s email,” begins Joe Pearson, “I am reminded that nothing from nothing leaves nothing. Is that an apt description of England’s lack of verve?”
These emails are going in a commemorative book when England bring it home next month.
12 min Slovenia play in a fairly rigid 4-4-2, shuffling from side to side and then breaking at pace when they win the ball.
So far England’s passing has been too slow and too safe, but there’s a long way to go.
