Don't shut up and empower abuse

Literature Nobel laureate Alice Munro‘s daughter Andrea Robin Skinner‘s revelation that her stepfather sexually assaulted her first when she was 9, and continued to abuse her into her teens is shocking enough. What’s more shocking is that Munro remained with him even after knowing about it. That such reaction – or rather its absence – from someone considered ‘progressive’ living in a progressive society like Canada’s adds yet another layer of stupefaction. The feeling of betrayal, especially for liberal women, is understandable. The late writer wrote evocatively about the inner lives of women and girls and the challenges they face in a patriarchal world. Thus, the irony is bone-deep.

Yet, the story is not only about Munro’s ‘stoic’ silence but also about the collective silence of the people around her. That such silence can exist in the more emancipated West as it does in more openly patriarchal, regressive societies can leave us, in fellow writer Margaret Atwood’s word, ‘blindsided’. In her essay in the Toronto Star, Skinner indicated that people beyond the tight family circle were aware of the abuse, but kept shut. That’s one step away from the khaps we’re more familiar with in our headlines.

WHO data shows that globally, up to 1 bn children between 2 and 17 years experienced physical, sexual or emotional violence or neglect in 2021, and abusers in many cases are family members. These are reported cases; the actual numbers are likely to be much higher. While more robust social support structures, helplines and educational programmes to teach children to speak up about sexual abuse, and legal frameworks are necessary, the onus will always be on the family members to first stand up for their children. There is no shame in it.