Don't stress, just lift a few glasses

We live in a world so complicated that even staying hydrated – simply put, drinking water – comes with a 10-step guide. And losing weight? Ah, that’s a different ballgame altogether. There are so many methods in the market that you’ll gain extra kilos just from sitting on the couch, reading the options and trying to decide which one to try. Kid you not, one online fitness coach even claims that daily affirmations like ‘I want to lose weight’ can help you shed some inches. Apparently, talking to yourself is the new cardio. (Psychotherapists, beware.)

Even sipping warm water to boost your metabolism, a tried and tested path, is no longer enough, says a new weight-loss method. Now, you need to drink water correctly to shed those stubborn kilos. The water regimen goes like this: after waking up, two glasses of warm water. One hour before a workout, two glasses of water. Thirty minutes after your workout, two more glasses…. You get the drift. Or at least the trickle. In total, that’s about eight hours of your day dedicated to the fine art of hydration that is probably explained in a YouTube video. At this rate, we’re looking at a future when filling a glass of water, lifting it, drinking from it, and then walking in and out of the loo will be seen as the hottest new fitness regime. No more sweaty gyms. Raise your glasses, folks. Slowly.