WE’RE always saying it – kids don’t know they’re born these days.
When I popped my cherry I was cramped up in the back of a G-reg Ford Fiesta.
Thankfully, Cathy knew what she was doing and what position worked.
Which wasn’t much.
We probably spent more time trawling back roads looking for a quiet place to park than actually getting naked.
I’m sure this sounds familiar to a lot of you.
In the electric Inster, fold all the seats forward — even the driver’s seat — use the three-pin plug socket to inflate an airbed and you’re a-wahey.
Today, Hyundai is making car sex more fun by creating motors that can fit a double bed in the back.
Whether it’s a micro SUV called Inster or the XL-sized Santa Fe.
You could go through the Kama Sutra from front to back, if you know what I mean.
In the electric Inster, fold all the seats forward — even the driver’s seat — use the three-pin plug socket to inflate an airbed and you’re a-wahey.
I’m almost 6ft and could easily put my legs straight.
In the seven-seat Santa Fe, flip down the second and third row of seats and you’ve got enough space for a queen-size bed.
For those who insist they’ve never got fruity in a car — 36 per cent of adults, apparently — you’re still getting an Airbnb on wheels.
Put a tent box on top and you can sleep four.
Road trip? Cancel the Travelodge. Kip in the car.
The mother-in-law’s visiting? She can kip in the car.
I can’t say much about Inster right now — because I’m not allowed to.
You’ll have to wait a bit for the full low-down.
Bit more poke
But I can tell you it’s going to cost around £21k for the 42kWh battery that will do 189 miles — and it is seriously well-equipped.
The 49kWh battery will do closer to 220 miles.
As for the chunky new Santa Fe, I spent a night under the stars in one in Dyfi, Wales.
Without Cathy, sadly.
If ever a car was designed from the inside out, prioritising comfort and convenience for all the family, then this is it.
There’s lots of space in all directions, lots of cup holders, lots of charging ports, lots of clever storage, two sunroofs, sliding centre seats so you can share the space.
All things that please.
There’s buttons to warm and cool your back. You can do big miles in this car and arrive at your destination as fresh as when you set off.
Up front, everything you need is within easy reach.
The widescreen display carries loads of tech, backed by a 12in head-up display and a neat blind-spot camera system which fills the driver’s binnacle with a live feed when you indicate left or right.
There’s buttons to warm and cool your back.
You can do big miles in this car and arrive at your destination as fresh as when you set off.
Hyundai has axed diesel from the new Santa Fe line-up.
But fair play, the 1.6-litre petrol hybrid is game when you hurry it and talks nicely to the six-speed auto.
Cornering is accurate and pleasant enough — and we genuinely got 36mpg
Our £52k “Ultimate” test car was 4WD.
The 2WD version is £2k less and the 4WD plug-in hybrid is £3k more.
That does 33 miles in e-mode and has a bit more poke.
One more thing.
Do you like the new shape? I’m yes and no. I like the boxy front end with the H-lamps.
But I don’t like the fugly back end with the giant SANTA FE badging.
I’ll sleep on it.
No, I’ll sleep in it.
KEY FACTS: HYUNDAI SANTA FE
- Price: £52,330
- Engine: 1.6-litre turbo petrol hybrid
- Power: 215hp
- 0-62mph: 9.8secs
- Top speed: 112mph
- Economy: 38mpg Emissions: 168g/km
- Out: Now
KEY FACTS: HYUNDAI INSTER
- Price: £21,000
- Battery: 42kWh
- Power: 97hp
- 0-62mph: 11.7 secs
- Top speed: 87mph
- Range: 189 miles
- CO2: 0g/km
- Out: March