The Zomato test of being pure of heart

On Wednesday, the disruptor who makes Elon Musk look like a kindergarten kid throwing Swiggy-delivered food in class, announced on X he’s looking for a chief of staff. He gave the salary details: no salary for the first year. And then the rad bit: ‘You will have to, in fact, pay ₹20 lacs for this opportunity.’ To drive the point home that he’s a Yudhisthir capitalist, Zomato’s Deepinder Goyal elaborated that ‘100% of this ‘fee’,’ – we’re unsure why he put the word in quotes – ‘will be paid in the form of a donation directly to Feeding India,’ if the candidate gets the job and takes it. CSR had a new king. For a day.

By Thursday, Goyal realised that his ‘Robinder Hooda’ HR tactic wasn’t getting into the HBS syllabus. The ₹20 lakh capitation fee, Goyal now sheepishly insisted, ‘was merely a filter, to find people who had the power to appreciate the opportunity of a fast track career’. It turns out, he was honeytrapping bent job-seekers willing to ‘bribe’ their way to a funky job. Just to be clear about his real intent, Goyal Uncle added in his ‘Aha, got you for a minute, no?’ tweet, ‘I really hope that ‘pay the company to get a job’ doesn’t become a norm in this world – that’s not cool’. Hear that, children? You should have focused on the bit where he had said he needs a CoS who’s ‘down to earth, and has zero entitlement’. But hang on. Who just slipped out in the patli gali in a delivery scootie?!