A transgender man who lost £2,000 raised by the public when his top surgery in Turkey fell through has said an anaesthetist was “fatphobic” when they blocked his “life-changing” treatment from taking place.
Elliot Webster-Mockett, 34, a British Sign Language interpreter trainee living in Glasgow with his spouse Bea, 34, came out as trans in 2021 and wanted top surgery a procedure that alters the chest to remove breast tissue to “boost (his) self-confidence”.
Facing NHS wait times of between five to eight years and high private costs in the UK, Elliot found through a post on Instagram that he could have the procedure, travel and stay in Turkey for around £6,000.
After raising the funds via GoFundMe, Elliot travelled to Turkey to have the surgery in December 2022, but it was called off when he says he encountered fatphobia from both the anaesthetist and the Instagram agent who organised the trip.
At 5ft 6in (1.6m) tall, weighing 18 stone and one pound (115kg) Elliot had a BMI of 40.9, classing him as severely obese at the time, and when filling out a health questionnaire before leaving the UK there were no concerns with his weight.
However, the anaesthetist decided additional scans were required before they could sedate Elliot which would have cost an extra £1,000 and gone beyond Elliot’s surgery date, ultimately meaning he was forced to fly home.
Elliot said his surgeon told him the anaesthetist was “fatphobic” and his weight had been healthy enough to go ahead.
After two years of thorough research, Elliot has now booked his surgery in Madrid, Spain, for February 2025, with the reassurance that staff “are used to seeing and being around bigger people” as they also specialise in weight loss surgery, if he can secure enough new donations from an online fundraiser.
Elliot told PA Real Life: “I had to grieve a little bit because I thought my life was going to change.”
“I had the added pressure of all these people having given me all this money and for something that didn’t happen, which ultimately wasn’t my fault, but I felt so much guilt.”
“I offered to give the money back to people but no-one wanted it back which I was shocked at and everyone was so supportive.”
Elliot would have to wait five to eight years to have the procedure through the NHS (Image: PA REAL LIFE)
Elliot came out as transgender in 2021, after always “feeling different” and “reflecting on (his) own identity” when his spouse Bea came out as non-binary in the same year.
He thinks that while their relationship has naturally evolved over time, coming out hasn’t “drastically changed anything” between them.
“I think we are happier than we were before, in some ways more confident,” he said.
“So I wouldn’t say it’s improved our relationship, but maybe it has because we kind of both are who we are, who we want to be.”
Shortly after coming out, Elliot began exploring having top surgery, believing it would “make (his) life a bit easier”.
He joined the NHS waiting list in 2021, only to learn that the wait could be five to eight years.
Elliot has launched another GoFundMe (Image: PA REAL LIFE)
“It’s frustrating,” he said.
“I’m in my 30s, and it took me so long to get to this point, I just want to live my life.”
Elliot felt very guilty when the surgery did not go ahead (Image: PA REAL LIFE)
He was shocked to discover that private surgery in the UK would cost at least £10,000, with only a few surgeons willing to operate on someone with his BMI, which he saw as “another barrier”.
But Elliot found an agent on Instagram who could book the surgery in Turkey, including flights and accommodation, and be a translator, for around £6,000.
In June 2022, he set up a GoFundMe and, with the help of loved ones and strangers, reached his target.
After having several conversations over WhatsApp with the agent, the surgery was booked for December 2022.
However, when Elliot arrived in Turkey, things took an unexpected turn.
During his pre-op appointment, the anaesthetist discovered that Elliot had a red, inflamed throat that was infected.
So, Elliot was advised to take antibiotics and return, but after taking them for two days, the anaesthetist remained unwilling to proceed.
Confused, Elliot consulted the surgeon, who he said assured him that surgery was still possible and dismissed concerns about his weight.
Elliot claims the surgeon said that the anaesthetist was fatphobic, and this was the reason she did not want to go ahead with the surgery.
The anaesthetist also insisted Elliot have additional scans, which would cost an extra £1,000, to rule out any underlying health conditions related to his weight.
“By then, I had missed my scheduled surgery slot,” Elliot said.
“The surgeon said he could possibly fit me in later, but it wouldn’t be for another week and even if I had the scans, there was no guarantee the surgery would happen.”
“For me, if it was by the book, I’d have been asked to do those tests before because they already knew (my weight).”
“I can see from both sides, those tests could have just been to check things, but when I spoke to the surgeon about it, that’s not how it came across.”
Faced with the possibility of paying more, extending his stay, changing flights, and still being denied surgery, Elliot made the difficult decision to fly home the next day, having only been in Turkey for two days.
On how he felt, having travelled all that way, he said: “I was devastated… I was really upset and I felt ashamed.”
Thankfully, the surgeon insisted that he did not need to pay the fee for the surgery but he had already spent around £2,000 of the GoFundMe donations on travel and accommodation.
Elliot said he does not wish to identify the agent who organised the Turkey trip or the medical practice, after reading about verbal abuse faced by others who have done so.
He said: “I know people who have called the agent out and he’s created a hate campaign against them.”
Elliot offered to give back the money to those who donated, but those who responded told him this was not necessary.
Elliot, here with partner Bea, has now booked to have the surgery in Madrid (Image: PA REAL LIFE)
Since getting over the disappointment, Elliot has decided to give the surgery another go.
He set up another GoFundMe in the summer of 2024, aiming to raise £3,500 to cover the costs for surgery, flights and accommodation, to combine with the leftover funds from the previous fundraiser.
This time, he said he thoroughly researched the best possible surgeon and joined Reddit and Facebook groups to read about others’ experiences.
Elliot has now booked his surgery in Madrid for February 2025, with the reassurance the staff specialise in both top surgery and weight loss surgery meaning “they are used to seeing and being around bigger people”.
“I am excited, but I think just because of what happened before, I’ve got a bit of doubt in the back of my head that it’s not going to happen,” Elliot explained.
“I’m not allowing myself to enjoy it fully, and then obviously there’s not a lot of time between now and February for me to get that money together so I kind of set myself a bit of a task.”
To others who are considering having top surgery abroad, he said: “Question everything and understand it’s normal to have questions for a big surgery.”
“Do your research and don’t be tempted to go with the easiest option.”
To donate to Elliot’s fundraiser, visit: www.gofundme.com/f/itty-bitty-titty-disposal-comittee.
