A mother who spent two years in unimaginable pain with terminal pancreatic cancer who couldn’t face going on any longer. A sister in her 50s with a deadly brain disease which left her reliant on a feeding tube and constant painkillers, who asked her family for a way to hasten the end. And a prostate cancer patient who saw his father suffer an agonising death caused by the same disease, who is now resolute that he will not follow the same painful path.
Few among us would fail to be moved by these harrowing stories, which have poured in from Mail on Sunday readers this month.
But what is far more controversial is the point they are making – all support a change in the law to permit assisted dying.
Antonya Cooper ended the life of her son, Hamish, who had brain cancer
Earlier this month, our resident GP Dr Ellie Cannon wrote about how she was struck by the extraordinary story of 77-year-old Antonya Cooper, who made headlines when she admitted that she had ended the life of her terminally ill son Hamish, seven, who was dying from a brain tumour.
Ms Cooper, from Abingdon in Oxfordshire, who died just days after the admission, said she had chosen to end her son’s life in 1981 using a lethal dose of morphine because he was ‘facing the most horrendous suffering’.
Dr Cannon added that such stories were turning the dial on assisted dying, with many people – including Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer – now backing the once radical idea that the dying should have the right to end their own lives.
Despite the heartfelt stories, it is not straightforward. There are huge ethical concerns over what it means for disabled people, who fear being ‘euthanised’.
There are worries, too, that those who are not terminally ill may find a loophole in any new law the UK might consider to end their lives.
One reader, who lives with several health issues, wrote: ‘Any change would make me frightened to consult a doctor.’ While another added: ‘It’s no one’s place to decide who lives or dies.’
But what is clear is that, for hundreds of Mail on Sunday readers, such a law would be welcomed.
Strikingly, most agreed that dying patients who are living in intolerable suffering should be allowed to choose a peaceful and humane exit. And it is perhaps unsurprising that their strong views are shaped by the slow, painful deaths of family members and the agony that left behind.
One reader, Hazel Masters, from Leicestershire, recalled how her 46-year-old daughter Julie, who had cervical cancer, was in unimaginable pain in her final days.
‘She was screaming for us to make it stop, but there wasn’t a damn thing we could do.
‘We begged and pleaded with the nurses to give her more morphine but were told “it wasn’t time yet”.
‘If anyone treated an animal this way, they would be prosecuted. It’s inhumane.’
Another, Dorothy Hall, from Cambridge, told how her terminally ill father was so sick with cancer that he could barely eat or drink for months. She added: ‘Every day he told me he wanted to die. It took me years to recover from seeing my father withering away before my eyes.’
These stories could not come at a more timely moment.
Last Friday, a new Bill to permit assisted dying began its progress through the House of Lords – which experts believe could herald the change in the law.
Lord Falconer, the Labour peer who introduced the Bill, described the current ban on assisted dying as a ‘mess that offers no compassion or protection to those at the end of their lives’.
A change in the law would appear to be supported by the majority of the nation. A survey of 10,000 people this year by the campaign group Dignity In Dying found that three out of four in the UK support legalising assisted dying. Only 14 per cent directly oppose it. Among the disabled, support rose to four out of five.
Separately, a petition on assisted dying backed by Dame Esther Rantzen attracted more than 200,000 signatures in a matter of weeks. The TV presenter has stage four lung cancer and intends to travel to the Swiss assisted dying clinic Dignitas if her condition becomes unbearable.
Esther Rantzen has stage four lung cancer and intends to travel to the Swiss assisted dying clinic Dignitas if her condition becomes unbearable
Yet experts who have concerns point to countries which have already legalised the practice, where people living with mental health issues or disabilities have been offered euthanasia.
So what’s the truth about assisted dying – and should the UK legalise it?
It is a criminal offence in this country to encourage or assist someone to take their own life, even if they ask or are suffering. The maximum prison sentence is 14 years.
This means that, for many years, terminally ill patients who wish to end their own lives have travelled abroad. Since 1998, nearly 600 Britons have travelled to Dignitas to take a lethal dose of poison under the supervision of a doctor. In 2023 alone, that figure was 40.
However, campaigners say that travelling abroad is not feasible for the majority of those considering assisted dying.
This is partly due to the fact that many people close to death are not healthy enough to travel. Affordability is also an issue – a trip to Dignitas can cost up to £15,000.
In 2015, a Bill that would legalise assisted dying was debated in the House of Commons. However, despite support from leading Tories, including Michael Gove, it was defeated.
But experts believe the new legislation, could lead to a change in the law.
The Bill calls for people with less than six months to live to be given the option to end their own life with the help of a doctor. It will be debated over the coming year and, with enough support, will be voted on by MPs.
Experts suggest it is likely to pass into law because it has the support of the Prime Minister. Earlier this year, Sir Keir committed to holding a vote on assisted dying, telling Dame Esther that he was ‘personally in favour of changing the law’.
However, another reason why the Bill has a good chance of becoming law is that public support continues to grow.
In 2010, a survey carried out by ComRes found that a quarter of the British public opposed the move. Today that figure is just 14 per cent.
Experts say that, ironically, this growing support may be because doctors are getting better at keeping people alive.
‘Over the past two decades we’ve had a transformation in medical technology which has been hugely beneficial for patients,’ says Sarah Wootton, the chief executive of Dignity In Dying.
‘People with diseases such as cancer are living much longer than they used to. And of course this is a good thing. But a consequence can be that people now die much more slowly – and a significant number of people suffer in pain in their final years.
‘Even the best palliative and hospice care can’t help everybody be comfortable at the end of life.
‘So it’s no surprise many people now want to choose to relieve that suffering through having an assisted death.’
In one heartbreaking example, Christine Eeley, 72, said her daughter – diagnosed with stage four glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer – was in such agony in her final days that she begged for help to die.
Isobel had been a childhood friend of the Princess of Wales, and despite being born with cerebral palsy had lived life to the full. However, in 2014 she was diagnosed with cancer. By 2017 she was bedbound and in extreme agony.
Seeing her in excruciating pain and covered in bedsores, Mrs Eeley took the extreme step of trying to give her daughter a lethal overdose – but Isobel’s condition meant she couldn’t swallow the pills.
She then tried to smother her with a pillow – but could not go through with it because her daughter did not want her to end up on trial for murder.
Isobel died later that year at the age of 34. Mrs Eeley describes her death as ‘horrific’ and marked by ‘pain, distress and a loss of dignity’, adding: ‘No one should have to suffer the way Isobel did.’
Christine Eeley tried – but failed – to end her daughter Isobel’s pain from brain cancer with an overdose of pills
Groups such as Humanists UK, a charity that promotes secularism, argue that the proposed assisted dying law does not go far enough because it does not allow people with non- terminal illnesses to end their lives.
One country that has already taken this controversial step is the Netherlands, which allows people to undergo euthanasia if they suffer with any condition that causes ‘unbearable suffering with no prospect of improvement’.
Earlier this year, a 29-year-old Dutch woman called Zoraya ter Beek was granted permission to end her life because she had chronic depression, anxiety and trauma.
Since 2021 Canada has allowed people to end their lives if they suffer from a chronic physical condition.
But in one shocking case, retired Canadian corporal Christine Gauthier – who played hockey at the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Paralympics – requested that her local council install a wheelchair ramp at her home, and was instead offered euthanasia.
Ms Gauthier, 53, told a court that a government employee had written to her saying: ‘If you’re so desperate, madam, we can offer you medical assistance in dying.’
Experts worry a similar situation could occur in the UK.
‘The assisted dying scheme in Canada was presented as having foolproof safeguards against abuse,’ says Alistair Thompson, of Care Not Killing, a campaign group opposed to assisted suicide. ‘But over time there has been an expansion of who is eligible, which has thrown up some real horror stories. We cannot allow the same thing to happen in the UK.’
However, families who have lived through the slow death of a loved one argue that a tightly controlled assisted dying programme for those with terminal disease is not only possible, but necessary.
‘Stories like Isobel’s happen every day throughout the country,’ says Mrs Eeley. ‘We need the law to change to end this suffering.’
I don’t want to suffer the same way’… but not all readers agree
READERS WHO BELIEVE THE UK MUST ALLOW ASSISTED DYING
Mike Wray and his mother, whose final weeks were spent in pain
My mother had a healthy life until she was 78, when doctors found an inoperable cancer in her pancreas.
Her last six weeks were spent in hospital hovering between extreme pain, losing mental capacity or going completely comatose. She had no quality of life whatsoever, and we – her family – suffered great distress witnessing her suffering.
In the UK we need legally regulated and medically supervised assisted dying arrangements.
Mike Wray, Yorkshire
At the age of 86, my mother had Parkinson’s disease and was in severe pain from arthritis. Her sight was failing, too.
Having received a card from the Queen celebrating 60 years of marriage, all she then wanted was to end her life. It took eight months of pain and distress, the last six months in a nursing home, before nature took its course.
Those last eight months were futile and unnecessary. I am 81, fit and well, but I have been clear with my family that I do not wish to be resuscitated.
I understand some of the wariness, but I am in favour of the individual’s right to end their life when they see fit. And if they need help, so be it.
We all will die. A month or two would make no difference to most of us.
Ed Laughton, Sutton Coldfield
As my father was dying from the late stages of prostate cancer he repeatedly asked the nurses and me if we could give him something to end his life.
He was bedridden and incontinent, and although his pain was managed with morphine, he was extremely unhappy and would have gladly welcomed death.
Fast forward 18 years and I am being treated for prostate cancer and lymphoma, and would feel a great sense of relief if assisted dying was available should my own conditions make life unbearable.
Peter O’Hara, by email
I feel the law should be changed to allow assisted dying for people with an incurable illness who wish to die before it renders them incapacitated and in unbearable pain.
I also think a person with diagnosed dementia should be given the option.
I watched my beautiful mum become, over seven years, someone who didn’t care about bathing or wearing stained clothing – she wasn’t my mum.
I dread that I will inherit dementia and would not wish my family to witness my decline.
Linda Gill, Plymouth
My sister was 17 years older than me, and in her late 50s she developed cerebral ataxia.
Within five years she was doubly incontinent and fed by a tube. It also affected her speech – but she was still able to beg me to help her die.
Some 20 or so years since her painful lingering illness, I still regret not helping her.
I have told my family that if I have a stroke or any illness that takes away my ability to live a decent life they are not to prolong my life.
Diane Ridley, by email
…AND THOSE WHO BELIEVE IT COULD BE DANGEROUS
I am against a change in the law. I want to know my doctor wants to keep me alive, and any change would make me frightened to consult one.
I have read about the Medical Assistance In Dying scheme in Canada – euthanasia is free but the care to make patients better is not. The prospect of a similar arrangement here terrifies me.
Eleanor Carter, Gloucestershire
As a Christian I would find it very hard to put assisted dying into practice. We have to make sure that no one is tempted to end the life of another person if that person doesn’t want their life ended.
And if people wanted their lives ended, their decision would need to be tested – to make sure they are of sound mind and capable of making this judgment.
But who could really take on the responsibility of testing this?
It’s no one’s place to decide who lives or dies.
Diana Woods, Hampshire
